I found quite an interesting video on youtube made by a man talking about prostitution and the GFE (the girlfriend experience)… and I’m going to give him a cookie. An oatmeal-raisin cookie, or a fig roll— Nothing with chocolate in it, don’t worry…
Once you get past the usual fails it becomes quite easy to listen to. Which is how radical feminists measure information. We ask ourselves, “Is this tolerable to listen to?” “Can I bear to hear any more”. 99% of the time the answer is, “No”, but if we can press on then chances are the person is presenting us with an idea we’ve never heard before, or a new interesting perspective. It rarely happens, which is why when it does it is noticeable.
Recently, certain groups of men are speaking out against the sex industry or against porn, but when you ask them their reasons you very often find that their motivations are pretty narcissistic. It all comes down to how the industry affects them and their sexuality, and they bear very few insights into the fact women are human beings. Or they use their male privilege to become a loud voice in the anti-porn lobby, and then sneak caveats into their narratives, such as their belief that women must accept men’s help if we want to eradicate porn. Radical feminists agree… kind of. Men can help women eradicate the sex industry by focusing on educating other men, for sure, and by not paying for sex or buying porn, but not by leading the movement, or by lecturing to women about what radical feminists have been saying for fourty years:
“In the wider context of the struggle for gender equality and the eradication of violence against women, pornography represents the primary barrier to men’s mass engagement in the cause for women’s equality. The cultural and social impact of porn on the way in which men think about and treat women is profound. Pornography has become the principle machine of patriarchal propaganda and its use is fundamentally incompatible with genuine engagement with and respect for women, I believe the inclusion of men in the anti-porn feminist movement is vital to its success.” (Matt McCormack Evans, Big Porn Inc)
Hmm… so Matt McCormack has been given a Marshmallow-Caramel-Creme-Cookie-topped-with-Chocolate-Sprinkles for stating the bloody obvious, before going on to insist that women accept men’s help. Which smacks of “knight in shining armor” syndrome.
But at least he does a better job than this guy in his article “Should you Have the Girlfriend Experience?”
A client of mine said to me once, “My hooker tells me all the time that she would see me even if I didn’t pay her.”
Really? Try that and see what happens. It’s a business. Their business is dicks. Their business is to get you off.
I’ve lived in Los Angeles; I’ve lived in New York City, and I know a lot of escorts. They can’t wait to get the hell out of your house! No matter how much fun you think you think you’re having with them, you’re paying them and if you weren’t paying them, they wouldn’t be there with you.
The bottom line is hookers are a crutch—they really are. Sure, you got laid. Sure, you got off. You’re feeling better now. But what an empty feeling.
I’m after incredible experiences.
I want to feel like a King all day long, so I work my ass off and I do things that keep me expanding and growing.
It’s not easy; it takes courage and awareness
So don’t visit hookers beacuse you can get a better buzz elsewhere and David Gwyant can show you how! And where’s his box of cookies while he’s at it..?
Rmott once wrote something that has always stayed with me. She said that out of all the experiences she’s survived, nothing compares to “the hell of the girlfriend experience.” I had to think about that one for a moment because you would assume that if a man is paying for an emotional connection, he might see her as more than just a piece of interchangeable meat. This section of the market is growing considerably and the reason for this is because–the argument goes– men are starting to realise that paying for sex and then leaving immediately afterwards is an empty experience. New “research” enthusiastically backs this theory, touting the idea that “Men Who Pay For Sex Really Want Love“.
But in reality, it seems that men seeking the GFE are just as, if not more, sadistic than your average john. They toy with the woman’s mind, make her feel important, not just a whore, until she actually begins to believe that he is in it for her, before they do something to put her back in her place to remind her that she has been bought. The emotional pain is always unexpected. So when you look at it in this light, the girlfriend experience is pure, unadulterated sadism.
Before I point out one of the fails of this clip so that you the radfems out there can brace themselves a little, it’s worth mentioning that the narrator is anonymous. Women and men use the internet differently. You can usually tell that a commenter on a blog is a transwoman, for example, by the fact that their gravatar is a face shot. Radical feminists represent themselves with symbols such as flowers, animals or fruit or something symbolic to the movement. We do this because we are vilified, stalked and harrassed for our political beliefs.
The guy who made this vid knew beforehand that he would get no praise, and would probably be ridiculed by his mates, as well as having to deal with drive-by shots from internet randoms. If he’s working class, (and his accent and his past occupation tells us that he is), then the chances of him being laughed at by his peers for his anti-porn stance are even higher because men lower down in the pecking order often abuse women in to make themselves feel better about their lack of social status, as we saw recently with the Pussy Riot fiasco. (Middle class men with Ph.Ds, like McCormick, can afford to be more “liberated” in their outlook because their social status is secure.)
But the guy made it anyway. This is pretty unusual.
In his introduction when he says that prostitution is not the same as other jobs, even though some jobs are regarded as pretty unpleasant, he cites the examples “building sites” and “toilet-cleaning”. But to lump those two jobs together shows that he is fairly ignorant of sexual politics in the workplace. Builders are paid a living wage. In the UK, they do very well indeed. Whereas toilet cleaners barely scrape by on the minimum wage. The social status and prestige of a builder is much higher, despite the fact both jobs are blue-collar jobs, and this is because of the huge difference in pay. Also, toilet cleaning deals with shit and piss, which is why it has been delegated to the touchable caste— women.
The other thing is that… I don’t know why toilet cleaning get such a bad rap (apart from the shit and piss thing)… because as far as available jobs for women go, it’s by far one of the best, and I’ll tell you why.
When I worked as a toilet-cleaner in a psychiatric hospital for elderly patients (yeah, the toilets were pretty rough), and when I worked as a toilet cleaner at a summer camp, I found myself realising that this work was far better than dead-end retail. This is because I hate people… or rather I hate putting on a fakey smile and being nice to people I don’t know from Adam… and then doing that for eight hours a day. I can’t stand the acting that’s involved in the whole sherade, and kow-towing to customers who define themselves by their need to make complaints in a restaurant, which is really a desire to embarrass the young waitress for kicks. And you don’t have to deal with drunk and lecherous men, or men who rant and rave at you for getting their order wrong, which is what used to happen when I worked in a late-night pizza shop… even though they were drunk and didn’t remember what they’d ordered. Or men tellling you to “smile” or “cheer up, love, it might never happen.”
Erm… it already did. Idiot.
No, with toilet cleaning you are exempt from all of that. One similarity toilet cleaning does have with construction work, though, is the fact that in both jobs you complete something. In retail there is so much clock-watching it’s unreal, as you count down the slow slow seconds to home time. Whereas with toilet cleaning, you go home when you’ve cleaned the bloody toilets and that’s that. Although it’s pretty obvious that there is no comparison between completing a HOUSE and completing a toilet.. because the toilets going to get dirty again in ten minutes.
Anyway, ignore the fails and enjoy the vid. I dunno, maybe I found it kind of hopeful or something. At any rate, an oatmeal cookie from a radfem is surely more valuable than a luxury cookie from anyone else….