Comments on my last post discussed men’s utter lack of shame and awareness regarding their sex’s persistent professional incompetence, and of how shocked women were at the shoddiness of the professions once they were finally allowed to enter them.
Some great quotes were gleaned including:
” they are a car crash, they can’t run anything properly” (Zeph)
and on the question of whether men should be at least a little bit embarrassed by all their fuck ups:
“They should be. But strangely their extra-logical, super-rational, wonderfully analytical and not at all emotional man-brains just cannot compute such a thing.” (ParallelExistence)
Speaking of which, I recently ordered two books on the subject of Trauma Bonding, the first entitled “Loving to Survive” and the second entitled “The Betrayal Bond.”
The first is written by Dee Graham, and is based on the intensive research she carried out almost decade earlier ( 1987), when she took it upon herself to study the victims of a hostage situation. Until then nobody had never thought of doing that, perhaps because victims of trauma are usually women and therefore not worthy of study, and perhaps because patriarchy is excited and preoccupied at the thought of What Makes a Psychopath Tick, and not so much interested in the effect on the victims. The phenomenon of female trauma bonding was articulated by her, known as Graham’s Stockholm Syndrome Theory.
I am reading Graham’s book very very slowly, so that I can savour and devour every sentence of wisdom.
I was surprised to find that the second book, The Betrayal Bond, was written by a man. Why surprised? First of all the subject deals with women, who have been trauma bonded to men, therefore a man has no credibility when it comes to this subject.
I checked the dates. Loving to Survive was published in 1994. The Betrayal Bond was published in 1997, three years later by a Patrick J. Carnes Ph.D.
I searched The Betrayal Bond for quotes and references of Graham’s research. There are none to be found. It seems that Carnes is appropriating Grahams’ work and passing Graham’s Stockholm Syndrome Theory off as his own idea. Because he has the clout of male privilge, his work is more widely published and acknowledged than Grahams’ original work.
There is no doubt about the fact that the critics and readers believe that Mr Carnes Ph.D invented this concept himself. The blurb gushes:
“Dr Carnes’s deep compassion and abundant insights make The Betrayal Bond invaluable to you as you take the corageous steps necessary to break free of your bonds and embrace healing. If you are the victim of abuse, this book could literally save your life.”
Turn to his list of Acknowledgments, and you find that he has vampirically sucked the energy of countless women in order to write this copy-cat book of his. The sheer amount of gynergy this one man consumed is astounding. And he wasn’t even writing an original idea that he’d thought of himself:
“There are many to thank. Pat Mellody, Pia Mellody and the entire Meadows staff, for their continuous support for my writing and research. I especially wish to thank Maureen Canning, Ray Early, Elizabeth Ewins, Peter Vincent and Linda Grange. Without Kathy Kelley’s support and office skills, this manuscript may never have become manageable. As always, Linda Holman Bentley and the staff of the Phoenix Public Library helped immensely. I relied on two experts. Nancy Hopkins and Jennifer Schneider, MD, whose careful reading of the manuscript helped to fill the gaps.
I have a group of friends who watched over the birth of this book. Known as the Woman Lake Gang [?WTF?] . they are Ann and Fred Foresman, Phyllis and Lennie Brooks, Skip and Sandy Reiter, and Leslie Myers. Their care meant a lot. My wife, Suzanne, walked every step of the way in the making of this book. It is a lucky man who has a wise woman for a spouse.”
It is a lucky man who has a wise woman for a spouse…..
And there you have it. Not a hint of shame, and a blatant parading of incompetence. Every day I learn a little more about just how easy life is for men. They put on a suit, do not much of anything, and get power, money, property and their own personal female slave.