The short term plan

Aside from Spreading the Word, I have been thinking of other ways to bring on the revolution.

I’m not dismissing good old militancy, but I don’t think I’m quite ready just yet to go the whole hog; despite waking up each morning to yet more atrocities ( I recently had a conversation with a woman who delivered her baby by Caesarian section. While she was on the operating table the surgeon asked her husband whether he wanted to have her tubes tied and he went ahead and gave the doctor permission to sterilize her without consultation. She is still with him.
It reads like an anecdote, or a joke. Unfortunately it’s true. Ah, what a joy it is to wake up every day and be a the scapegoat for men’s loathing.)

So yes, the Phoolan Devi route seems more and more reasonable as time goes on. I’m getting there.

But childcare responsibilities bind women’s hands, as does having a job, and I cannot afford to spend a night in jail, (though once the kids are independent it’ll be look out streets !)

The next port of call is energy. If I hadn’t come across radical feminism I would have continued expending energy on men for the rest of my life. Women are taught that if their relationship breaks down there’s something wrong with them, even if their spouse was abusive. They are told by psychoanalysts that some flaw within them caused them to seek out a faulty man. Women are generally never told, “Look you’re never going to find The One, the Right Man isn’t out there so stop looking NOW and save yourself time and energy.” No, they are trained to keep on searching.

A case in point is Elizabeth Taylor, a Great Beauty of her time and highly talented person, who had her pick of the men, the choice of the best, the creme of the crop. She should have realized when marriage #1 failed that something was up. But in line with her conditioning, she persevered with her search for Prince Charming, the one who would make her happy , (as if any human being can make another person happy)

By marriage number 7 she was still searching. Now if someone had sat her down after number one and told her that he was as good as it gets her life energies could have been diverted to something more worthwhile.

So step 1 of The Plan is eliminate teh menz from yout life and once you shed your man don’t ever search for another again.

Step 2 is Starve Male Organizations of female energy.

Not far from my house is a beautiful ancient shrine, which I visit at least once a week. According to the Shintou religion, the trees and foliage surrounding a shrine must be preserved and never cut down unless they are rotten and dangerous. The untouched woodland makes for a beautiful tranquil haven of rich biodiversity. Yesterday I noticed there was an exhibition being held in the shrine museum, depicting the history of the people of the area. I wanted to go, but stopped myself just in time.

 Because I realised that it would not be a true representation of women’s history. Even the poster itself, which I gave a 7/10 at first for showing a breastfeeding mother, was incorrect: the breast was large, a Western woman’s breast, not typically Asian. It was a perfectly formed, pornified breast. I altered the score to 2/10 and decided I would not go; I would not give credence to the re-writing of women’s history by a group of old, dry grey-headed men. I would starve their exhibition of my energy.

I hope that the only people who went to the exhibition yesterday were the friends of the stale grey-heads who created it. But I have a sinking feeling that women went, and that they took their children and taught them the lies that erase women’s pasts.

My hope is that more women abstain from devoting time and energy to men’s ventures. Let’s take it in the same direction as Christianity. Women are beginning to reject the dry, dull ramblings of men inside the stiflingly staid environments of churches, where their children must be hushed, starched and meek. Let’s stop going to talks hosted by male authors, stop lending credence to all of man-made culture, until it eventually folds in on itself and collapses; at which point the contributors and audience will be forced to contemplate the sheer dullness of what they have created without the presence of women’s energy there making it come alive.

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21 thoughts on “The short term plan

  1. All the “just stop.” I did that long ago, and nothing in the greater world has changed. We are women. We change nothing one way or the other, do or don’t.

    How do you cut men out of your life, for example, when you have children?

    I am het but abstaining, have been for over 30 years. I am still under the heel.

    • Well the plan is….
      we get LOADS of women to do it 🙂

      In the short term we don’t have to cut our sons out per se, we just need to stop giving male culture any credence. Stop going along with things that THEY find important, when the reason those things are dull is not because we’re stupid (like so many women believe) but because almost every organization or event you come accross is male-centric and therefore dull to us.

    • Jilla, this is true. Right now I can’t hope to be totally man free, because my youngest’s father is still in her life. The courts make sure of that for many women, I suspect.

      Removing one’s energy from the Patriarchy can be a process started at any stage, though. The less investment the better. Then, hopefully, when the sprogs are grown total disengagement is possible.

      • This particular situation-of courts forcing mothers to stay in contact with the father of their children- makes me sick. Because NOBODY is under any obligation to take an abusive man from the family home. I’ve had conversations with social workers who say they “don’t have the power to remove a man from his home”. And yet if the woman leaves him they DO have the power to force her to give him the kids for visits
        Makes me sick

  2. In the 1970’s I stopped going to lectures or having “teachers w/o tits”. Boom. that was it.

    I did miss Ram Dass’s trip to my town and he’s turned out to have a long interesting spirit journey.

    I found ways to be in mostly women only circumstances (taught women’s body conditioning for 8 years, had a pre-free school for 8 years, worked for female nonprofit boss in security secured premises so random males had no access).

    I’m also thinking CBL, that we must create a fascinating, rich and woman only public sphere. I believe radfem blogs are really attractive places these days, and at some point we might want to externalize and have a Woman’s Club venue? I have ann idea for my “brand”…..

    • Really good idea, surivor. It’s not a coincidence that women are drawn to the net. THey are FED UP of the misogny in the media and are beginning to create their own. After chatting with other like-minded women online, your average TV programme is unwatchable. And so boring by comparison.

  3. Gosh, I am still getting over the woman who had her tubes tied without her knowledge. Unbelievable.

    It is hard to escape manworld. You basically have to plan to drop completely out of mainstream society.

  4. cherryblossom, when I read your writing I think you are very much at a similar place with your feminism as I am with my mine. I recently made a conscious decision to stop devoting so much energy to men and male culture too.

    among other things I decided that unless there is some extra compelling reason, i’m just not going to read any more male-authored books anymore. Cause that would mean spending intellectual energy on men, which could be spent on women instead. Life’s just too short.

    I would love to do this with movies too, but movies about women with female directors and female writers are rare as hen’s teeth.

    • Yes, books too. Room by Emma Donoghue was so amazing that it prompted one of my first posts on here, which wwas a review of it from a radical feminist perspective. I then read The Slap by Christian Tsiolkas, because of the rave reviews and him being was touted as a genius…
      …it lies half-read in my drawer. I couldn’T stomach the misogyny. Emma donoghue mocks society for being preoccupied with hurrying breastfeeding mothers to wean their babies; and Christian Tskiolkas’s writing is like a parody because he actually displays his disgust of breastfeeding mothers throughout his book.

      • oh, The Slap, bleh.
        I’m australian, and you can just imagine how popular that book is here, held up as an example of Modern Australia and Multicultural Society and blah blah.

        I read the first couple of chapters of a friend’s copy while i was killing time somewhere, this was just after it came out. And I admit I thought it was kind of interesting.

        Then two years later I found it at another friend’s house I was staying at, and i thought “Great, I can finally read it properly”. But by then I was ruined by radical feminism, and I couldn’t stand it. The utter CONTEMPT for women. Honestly, I hate, hate, hate that book. I wish people would stop raving about it.

        I think I might check out the emma donoghue book, though!

    • he is a knob. I read a live webchat of his with a load of women. “modest” is not the word I would use to describe him. LOts of people pulled him up on the misogyny and he just brushed it aside. Here’s an example I found from one lovely woman and check out his reply, which blames HER for the misogyny in his book!:

      Hello Christos
      Personally, I’m not sure about the accusations of misogyny but I do think they aren’t to do with the misogynistic characters in the book (do you think certain characters are misogynistic?) but rather to do with the depiction of the female characters – Rosie in particular. She comes across as more of a caricature than the other characters to me, with less effort to understand her reaction to the slap and the tone when describing her is more of ridicule.
      My question is do you like her less than the other characters, or feel you understand her less? She’s definitely the character I least liked and understood, which is odd because on paper she’s probably the one I resemble the most. Or maybe that’s more about my own prejudices – and maybe that’s the point (sorry if that doesn’t make much sense)?

      Tsiolkas:
      … As for your reaction, it is interesting. Someone said the character you hate most is the one you are most like. I think it is probably too glib but I know as a reader when I feel that itch of anger and repulsion about what a character is doing I wonder if it is because they are too close to the bone.

      WTF

      The webchat is here: http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/book_of_the_month/1152553-Join-Christos-Tsiolkas-to-talk-about-THE-SLAP-our-March-Book-of-the-Month-on-Weds-23-March-8-9pm/AllOnOnePage

      Anyway, the other thing I’m thinking about is restaurants. I’m going to go to female-owned restaurants (whenever I do go out) and try to avoid large chains owned by men. Okay, it’s only me, jilla you and a few other women doing it but over a lifetime.. it might count.

  5. Because, as I’ve said, I’ve done this, I could make good contributions to a list of writing and movies. And not all women directors do feminist, or even women-sensitive movies.

    Fortunately for me, I thrive alone, or this exhile from the world would be very difficult. The internet has really helped. Now I my leave that too, and return once again to the most-controlled sans malearchy I can manage, which I did before internet.

    But as I said when you have progeny you cannot escape the malearchy; even when they are adults. One at least is going to give you nightmares in how he/she looks, and oh yes, want to know tidbits about their father, and you have to ask The Man for financial helps in many ways that women do who have children, do not have a career (and makybe even then) or are disabled or not white, or live on a woman’s wages and a woman’s pension.

    I would never not have had children. Just that it’s an added layer of not being able to live in a feminist cocoon.

    It’s on my mind, else I wouldn’t be posting. Thanks for your writing Cherry.

    I said this elsewhere, and I’ll repeat this too, read the writers, and so I include you. I never go wrong, if I first look for a writer. A writer who is a feminist, now there is something solid. As well as our writers on the rad fem blogosphere, read Atwood, Munro, Lessing. They are FIRST, writers, and they’re work incorporates art with consciousness raising. Makes the medicine go down, but so many think art cannot encompass feminism. Oh yes it can. The greatest lessons.

  6. I just haven’t found it so BB. It changes no doubt. But even when they are older they may love their father, or even if they hear us and know what we say is true, feel “that’s me” because he is part of them. I just haven’t figured a way around it. Especially if he dies (which I thought was going to be Freedom Day) turns out, they may remember he wasn’t perfect, but again often because genetically they are him, they forgive, miss him, remember the good times. Or don’t and want you to fill in. Oy.

  7. Ahhh, yes FAB, that’s a really sick story, for her lack of awareness but also I guess she’d had her quota of boys? Mustn’t take any chances.

    And all the women who when under get to be real live model for this year’s M.D. class.

    I once had a D&C I swear took me weeks to recover from. I told my gyne (a woman!!) next time I had to have it done, that I had felt like someone had been hucking my parts around last time. I annotated the form severely, but, BUT BUT, the resident came up to me just before anaesthetic, and begged. She was a woman so I said ok, but I deeply resented she did that, that my gyne let the female resident do that to me, knowing I had signed away that permission. “We have to learn somehow”, she whined. (Anaesthetist with needle poised).

    • What she did was wrong Jilla,

      I’m also pondering over to what extent I can reject the medical establishment. I’ve never been one to go to the doctor much anyway because I was raised with the NHS and the way that works is by the time you get treated you’re usually better anyway so there’s NO POINT in going through the hassle. Might as well stay in bed and sweat it out.
      Anyway, mY daughter has been complaining about her ear hurting so I gave it a week because I hate hurrying to the docs at the first sign of a problem, but yesterday it was still hurting so I took her.
      Well, the way the doc treated me when I got there (as a stupid person basically) and he ordered me to put the child on the bed. She was frightened and I just whipped her up and headed to the door. When he realised I was ACTUALLY walking out he changed his behaviour (these days with the internet they know that upsetting a woman can actually be bad for their public image). I still didn’t let him roughhouse her onto the bed and so in the end he gave up and just gave me the drugs that HE WAS GOING TO GIVE ME ANYWAY…in other words none of that was needed as he had already decided beforehand which drugs he would administer

      So I’m going to RESIST NOT COMPLY every single day.

      Girl babies are actuallly valued in Japan though, lots of women I’ve spoke to hope their baby will be a girl and there are lots of girl-only families. It’s just that when they get to adulthood they’re dehumanized, as we have seen with the tube-tyeing fiasco

    • I recall a ‘rough’ D&C that I had (nearly 30 years ago) – in that I was extremely sore afterwards. Looking back now, I was probably subject to unauthorised test exams by the probies.

  8. I just took our daughter to the doctor for only the third time in her life (since she was an infant) and she’s going on 12. My parents weren’t terribly fond of the medical establishment either (mom was raised xtian scientist, but didn‘t practice) so I was raised to kind of “sweat it out” too.

    Anyway, on the way to this appointment I warned The Kid that the doctor might be all judgmental and snotty when we told her that she had started her period about a year ago; rather early. Luckily the Doc didn’t bat an eye. I was surprised, really, and how pathetic is that? To EXPECT judgment about something we have no control over. 🙄

    Also the little give-away pamphlet “Girls and Puberty” in the exam room still has the diagram that depicts the vagina as a gaping tunnel just waiting to be filled. But The Kid knows better than that!

    Oh, and way to go CBL. It’s always good to remember that THEY are serving US; we’re the boss in this economic exchange, dammitt.

  9. I know there are so many fronts in this women’s liberation battle, but I want to remember how very important it is for us to share women centric and sparring health information. We really need to get our experiences and knowledge out to each other. It’s not good enough that generation after generation, our daughters are subjected to toxic chemical interventions and cut, burn, and slash treatments which seem to work from the principle that removing our femaleness and making us more like men will make us healthier. If our daughters only learn what their options might have been after they’ve been castrated, mutilated and harmed, we’ve failed them, each other. It’s just basic women-helping women by passing on what we’ve experienced from male-centric health care, and what it’s cost us.

    I think the reason the male-centric women harming and killing healthcare we are offered isn’t front and central in our women’s liberation advocacy and agitating, is because it’s SO FEMALE and well, how important could that be?

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